Some problems I have with using a nuke on the oil gusher

Some problems I have about using the ‘nuclear option’ on the oil gusher in the Gulf:

• if they ‘dropped the bomb’ down there, think of all the people that would be fleeing the south, moving-in next door, taking your parking spot, complaining about the people coming across the border.
• the NFL and Major League Baseball would have to redraw their franchises
• I guess hurricane season then becomes fallout season: fluorescing gumbo anyone?
• I’m still trying to figure out why any sane person thinks we have a delivery mechanism for a nuclear payload that could withstand the immense pressure at that depth. Even if we do have one, that’s just insane. :)
• you have to realize all surface operations in the Gulf would have to cease to allow for this, that means everyone and everything being ready with their fingers in their ears; everyone who lives along the coast would just be fine with this and would willingly leave their homes to make way for Dr Strangelove’s new hard-on.
• based on everything I’ve read today about fractured rock and compromised casing, will a nuke really make things better? Would you run any of the oil they recover in your vehicle? How about that radioactive exhaust? (what else would we do with all the now-radio-active oil?)
• generally, non-nuclear methods for fusing work well up here at the surface, but we don’t know how this would work down below. And we REALLY don’t know what a nuke would do at that depth, especially exploded on top of a 25,000 square-mile oil reservoir that reaches vent heads as far as Florida, Alabama, Texas(!). Extra points if you also remind yourself that reservoir is mostly methane under extreme pressure and a lot of vent heads from this same reservoir have been traced INLAND to, ding ding ding, you guessed it: Florida, Alabama, Texas. Some folks have asked me about why Mississippi isn’t listed, it’s because they “just couldn’t tell their (vent) head from a hole in the ground
• what will become of the ‘southern drawl?’
• what will happen to southern hospitality if no one is around to be hospitable?
• will they finally relocate Space Camp (now in Alabama) to . . . Space?
• oh please tell me they’re NOT going to do this on . . . Independence Day
• this doesn’t fly with Web Bot’s predictions, or does it?
• It would really disturb me to think we’ve been worried about suitcase nukes all this time and here we get taken down by a ahem, pipe bomb.
• We would have to add another stanza to Ginsberg’s “HUM BOMB” (see entire piece below for you your edification and amusement)
• Are still worried about those parking spots? That’s nothing compared to the incessant (radio-active) glow of their children all damned night long!

HUM BOM!

by Allen Ginsberg

I

Whom bomb?
We bomb’d them!
Whom bomb?
We bomb’d them!
Whom bomb?
We bomb’d them!
Whom bomb?
We bomb’d them!

Whom bomb?
We bomb you!
Whom bomb?
We bomb you!
Whom bomb?
You bomb you!
Whom bomb?
You bomb you!

What do we do?
Who do we bomb?
What do we do?
Who do we bomb?
What do we do?
Who do we bomb?
What do we do?
Who do we bomb?

What do we do?
You bomb! You bomb them!
What do we do?
You bomb! You bomb them!
What do we do?
We bomb! We bomb you!
What do we do?
You bomb! You bomb you!

Whom bomb?
We bomb you!
Whom bomb?
We bomb you!
Whom bomb? You bomb you!
Whom bomb?
You bomb you!

May 1971

II

For Don Cherry

Whydja bomb?
We didn’t wanna bomb!
Whydja bomb?
We didn’t wanna bomb!
Whydja bomb?
You didn’t wanna bomb!
Whydja bomb?
You didn’t wanna bomb!

Who said bomb?
Who said we hadda bomb?
Who said bomb?
Who said we hadda bomb?
Who said bomb?
Who said you hadda bomb?
Who said bomb?
Who said you hadda bomb?

Who wantsa bomb?
We don’t wanna bomb!
Who wantsa bomb?
We don’t wanna bomb!
Who wantsa bomb?
We don’t wanna bomb!
We don’t wanna
we don’t wanna
we don’t wanna bomb!

Who wanteda bomb?
Somebody musta wanteda bomb!
Who wanteda bomb?
Somebody musta wanteda bomb!
Who wanteda bomb?
Somebody musta wanteda bomb!
Who wanteda bomb?
Somebody musta wanteda bomb!

They wanteda bomb!
They neededa bomb!
They wanteda bomb!
They neededa bomb!
They wanteda bomb!
They neededa bomb!
They wanteda bomb!
They neededa bomb!

They thought they hadda bomb!
They thought they hadda bomb!
They thought they hadda bomb!
They thought they hadda bomb!

Saddam said he hadda bomb!
Bush said he better bomb!
Saddam said he hadda bomb!
Bush said he better bomb!
Saddam said he hadda bomb!
Bush said he better bomb!
Saddam said he hadda bomb!
Bush said he better bomb!

Whatdid he say he better bomb for?
Whatdid he say he better bomb for?
Whatdid he say he better bomb for?
Whatdid he say he better bomb for?

Hadda get ridda Saddam with a bomb!
Hadda get ridda Saddam with a bomb!
Hadda get ridda Saddam with a bomb!
Hadda get ridda Saddam with a bomb!

Saddam’s still there building a bomb!
Saddam’s still there building a bomb!
Saddam’s still there building a bomb!
Saddam’s still there building a bomb!

III

Armageddon did the job
Gog & Magog Gog & Magog
Armageddon did the job
Gog & Magog Gog & Magog

Gog & Magog Gog & Magog
Armageddon does the job
Gog & Magog Gog & Magog
Armageddon does the job

Armageddon for the mob
Gog & Magog Gog & Magog
Armageddon for the mob
Gog & Magog Gog & Magog

Gog & Magog Gog & Magog
Gog Magog Gog Magog
Gog & Magog Gog & Magog
Gog Magog Gog Magog

Gog Magog Gog Magog
Gog Magog Gog Magog
Gog Magog Gog Magog
Gog Magog Gog Magog

Ginsberg says Gog & Magog
Armageddon did the job.

February – June 1991