OK, so this morning I’m riding down the Geary Street bus line into work and there’s this burnt out looking lady in her late 40’s who gets on the bus and starts moving steadily to the back of the bus. It’s an artuculated bus in San Francisco, which has an amazing three axles and a hinging rear section for those long hauls with the minions of polka DOT COMunists. I’m seated near the rear side exit door.
I hear this man’s voice voice in almost a Ward Cleaver baritone: “Careful! Excuse me! Excuse me!”
I look up and the burnt out lady had made it as far as Ward Cleaver reading a 20 Minutes to a New You. She keeps trying to make her way past him. He pipes up “Watch where you’re going! You’re crazy!” The lady had in sloth-like fashion started sweeping him away.
They scuffle. Sound of women’s gasps, people going “HEY! Stop!”
He says “I’ll call the police!”
In her lazy tone she taunts him “Go ahead and call the police.”
Bus stop. People start going to the door. he gets out so others can get past. He steps back up onto the threshold, door still open, bus still stopped, but ready to go. He says “Did you want to get off?”
“NO BUT YOU ARE!” and she kicks him in the groin and out he falls on his ass on the pavement.
“Don’t you kick me!” he screams.
The funny thing is he got up in time to get back in the bus. Doors close, bus pulls ahead, and there they are, once again, next to each other.
“Sorry” she says in her pathetic voice.
“You’re crazy!” he shoots back. “But I accept your apology.”